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Much like life, this video is not perfect. My dog barked near the end, but I am using it anyhow, because it says what I wanted it to say. I use YouTube as a way to express my thoughts, and to support my written work which I publish on my website www.ilancooley.com. You can join my community there. This video contains sensitive subject matter, but I think it is important to talk about, even though it is difficult. I know how women die. I wish I didn’t know, but I do. I am clearly not dead, but I could have been. The kind of dead that lands you in a ditch, or a field, or somewhere equally terrible. Not that there is a good place to be left when you die. Most of you will say, I never knew. To that, I say, you never do.

The past three years I have spent a lot of time resolving grief and coming to terms with losing people. This has not been easy, but I have also realized some of the most impactful things I have ever learned were from people who are now departed. They have shown me the Good, and have helped me find the Good. The Good has become a new framework for my abstract spirituality that allows me to reflect inward instead of upward. I now know the only place I need to turn for answers, meaning and direction is within.

I took a happiness class and it made me happier. I have by no means completely eliminated sadness, or struggle from my life, but I can confidently say there is a tangible and noticeable difference in how I feel now. The Science of Wellbeing class can be found here: https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being Join my community by subscribing to my channel here and read The Happiness Project blog on my website www.ilancooley.com

I have spent the past year taking a long hard look in the mirror. I knew parts of me were shattered. Loss and grief had impacted my self-image, and I was looking at my own fragmented reflection in a broken mirror. Even though I had once known myself completely, difficult circumstances had changed me. I worked hard to pick up the pieces and put myself together again. I set out to find answers that only exist inside me. I once again love, accept, know, and completely trust the person I see in the mirror. Read more about The Mirror on my blog and join my community at www.ilancooley.com and subscribe to my channel here!

I now firmly believe if we don’t let our tethers go at the right time, they will simply break, flinging us forward without warning. Perhaps it is a course correction, or a way to force us to change our direction. It is the way we are removed from people, or situations that are holding us back. If we don’t learn to set ourselves free from them, it will happen forcibly. It is all so new to have wings and not strings. I have still not decided exactly what is next, and I don't know where I might end up, but I know it is better to learn to fly and be free. It seemed an untethered life is the life for me. Please subscribe to my YouTube channel and visit my website www.ilancooley.com to join my community.

I recently had a lot of things change. It was so abrupt and relentless it pulled me off my axis. I drifted so far that I landed on the moon. I didn’t really know what to do, but after a while the answers filled my horizon like a galaxy of stars. Subscribe to my channel and join my community @ www.ilancooley.com

Most things are a matter of perspective and if you want to change your perspective you often need to change your vantage point. The pandemic took things in what seemed like an instant. It was like having a cannonball fired into my fortress and taking a direct and destructive hit to my foundation. I was understandably shook. In the space the cannonball left, there is still rubble and a mess, but the part of me that builds and creates ignited in a way I have seldom experienced. Maybe it was the part of me that needed to be set free. To read the companion blog post to this video, visit my website: www.ilancooley.com

Pain, loss and grief need to be healed and cannot be paved over without consequence. In order to move on, time must be spent tending to the intricate task of healing. I think this is the very reason it is called personal growth. If growth has not occurred, the problems will lie beneath the surface waiting to bubble up again. They will not be tempered, and will rise like a geyser. Join my community! Subscribe here and visit my website www.ilancooley.com for blog notifications!

I don’t think it is wise to be a one-track pony. Eventually there may be a dead end, or a fork in the road, or you may need to make a U-turn; or maybe, you will suddenly encounter a full-on road closure. Then what? There is more than one track, and many ways to get where you want to go. In fact, even a train needs two rails to keep moving on down the line. Besides, not everyone wants to ride a train; some people prefer a rollercoaster. Read my One Track Pony blog post and join my community at www.ilancooley.com and visit me on Instagram and Facebook @ilancooley