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crouching gopher, hidden cobra

I am, at times, a coiled cobra, ready to strike. After too much time in the snake charmer’s basket, I can no longer resist the seductive sound of the music, and am set to emerge with a sharp forked-tongue and a hiss.

Except when I’m not…

At other times, I am pensive and cautious, more like a fuzzy dirt dwelling rodent, daring to pop my head out of a hole. This side of me still feels the effects of constantly being whacked, and repeatedly forced down.

I feel like I am equal parts crouching gopher and hidden cobra…

Despite the dichotomy between these two personas, and the fact I am neither a venomous snake, nor a mouse, my desire to find my way out of the confines of both the basket and the hole is strong and persistent. I want to embrace both my gentle side and the part of me that is ready to pounce. I am ready to step into this new world and live differently.

I guess I am more like the snake in that sense, because I have shed an old skin.

There were cracks I didn’t know were there until they were under pressure. They were created by the speed of life, and I healed them by being gentle with my mind, body and spirit. All that time burrowing and coiling gave me time to build a more solid foundation; one I can stand firmly on, jump off, and return to.

I am more careful about how I spend my time, and who I spend it with. I don’t put my energy into things that aren’t fulfilling, positive or rewarding. I am not as quick to react. I have stronger boundaries, and no problem sticking to them.

It takes a lot of reflection and diligence to seek answers for yourself from within. One of the few positives of living with less influences and distractions for a couple of years was a chance to dive a bit deeper into our inner world. It gave us a chance to explore who we are without all the clutter and the noise. We could listen more closely for guidance and direction, while considering outside sources objectively. We had to get uncomfortable and still so we could be ready to strike.

It is time to leave the underground passages behind. It is time to step into the light.

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