Someday I will stop writing about isolation, but not today…
In a lot of ways my journey through solitude continues. I’m alone less, but still far more than I ever was. I am more at peace with it, or perhaps just settled into it better, but I still have more alone time than I’d like.
I understand some people choose a quiet solitary existence, and I respect that, but it is not for me.
I think about autonomy so differently now. When I am alone, which is often, I am a singular person, on a planet with 8 billion people on it. How profound that I live in this time. Moment-to-moment, I am simultaneously aware I am insignificant in the context of our 4.5 billion year-old planet, yet I believe I must be here for a reason, so I must matter.
I have to believe I matter, if only to myself. I have gained an appreciation for the me that is consistent at all times, and in all ways, even when no one is watching.
I am honest, good, and real.
I have studied social psychology, and have reflected on the impact of social constructs. Our sense of self is shaped by where we live, who we know, indoctrinated behaviours, traditions, and even happenstance, and the randomness of the universe.
We are all a product of our environment. My environment became just me in a house with a dog for a long time. In the absence of other voices and influences, I was able to remove what I now realize were other people’s expectations of me. I can now focus more on being honest, good, and real.
When we remove external variables, we can shed the things that we are not meant for us, and carry on with the things that are. It is a gift to know ourselves better, and to let the quest to live authentically lead us in the right direction.
We are miraculous, complex, unique beings who exist. No one anywhere should have the right to define us, or tell us we shouldn't exist as we are—we are perfect in every way. We should be who WE want to be.
We are a singular entity like no one else anywhere, ever. I am not like anyone who has ever been on this planet for all of its existence—how wonderful.
I am honest, good, and real 🦋