the shell

You hear about people coming out of their shell, but you never really hear about anyone going into one. With the state of the world, I think many of us wish we had a shell of our own.

I have decided hermit crabs may have the answer. They occupy a shell until they outgrow it, then find another one to inhabit and carry on. They seem to have the best of both worlds–half in the shell, half out of it. They can set down to wait out a storm, or scurry away in their little crab way.

I didn’t used to be a hermit, or a crab, and now I think I am both. Perhaps I am a little more of one than the other, depending on the day.

I don't think I have mastered the art of being a hermit crab, because I still feel a constant push and pull of life inside and outside my shell. I would consider myself to be an extrovert, in fact I used to be a super extrovert, but that has changed. I still need above average socialization, but I also savour quiet beats and solace. I relish the ability to retreat into the silence and simplicity of my own space on my own terms, safe in the shell.

I began to wonder if there have been other hermit crabs around me all along and I just didn’t notice. Perhaps the fact I have had time to ponder the duality of hermit crabs directly reflects the benefits of time in the shell, or maybe this is the ranting of a person who has completely lost touch with reality due to too much alone time.

I think I still have all of my faculties, but I will admit there was a point I was spending too much time in my shell. I felt I was missing out on some of the things that feed my sense of fulfilment and had to make a real effort to pop my head out to explore my surroundings.

It was difficult at first, but I am happy to report I have increased both the distance and frequently of my external explorations. I am making progress.

If all goes well, I will soon outgrow my current shell and will be ready for a new one to inhabit–one that will fit me perfectly, at least for a while, as I continue to seek the perfect mix of scurrying and solitude 🦀